When I stepped away from the trash fire,I was shaking and scared of the world.You mocked me and said I couldn’t do it.You directed, “Take him back now, little girl.” You said that your God wouldn’t permit meI’d be damned; like a top, spin out of control.But the only reasons that I flew out of
I never wanted things to be like this,All messy, crying and blubbering,My skeleton draped with skin, old and saggy, Fat bulging in places I’ve denied attention,Divorced,Shunned, even.My house full to the brim with clutter,From over the years… So many of the ex’s things rusting… rotting…Him tossing loose change over every once in a while, to
It’s been some time since I’ve blogged. I’m busy!!! The water calls to me in summer.I’m planning our second vacation (we go in 3 day spurts). First we spent a visit at the amusement park, south of the Twin Cities (MN). With Covid restrictions, we learned how to adapt. The first day was planned to
What if earth’s beginning was the end of something else?
Journal Entry: Deprogramming from Christianity Read More »
She didn’t know what her mother was talking about. Why was she saying these things? She hurt even more.
Whoooo!!! Feeling safe, not being beneath layers of trauma –not living underneath a controlling force, and doing work because I desire to learn has been the ultimate gift to myself!! I just ended my final week of college for Spring semester. If only I had a safe environment while growing up… I am finding that
“There’s no jumping from Shutdown (dorsal) to Safe and Social (ventral). A human must move either up through Fight/Flight, or down on the Vagas ladder. All of humanity is under the same rules.”
I do not like conflict. I once told my stepfather to stop tickling me; my tickle center had switched off; he tickled too hard. This was an attempt to set a boundary. His response is the one I fear receiving to this very day; it is a trigger. Fearing the outcome of setting a boundary,
Fears won’t drag me down Read More »
In the year 2020 a pandemic reached global proportions; a novel virus sped throughout the globe and governments in most countries shut down parks, schools, playgrounds, bars, libraries, and malls. In March of 2021 the earth’s heartbeat continues to say, “stay home; it’s a pandemic.” We must draw closer to our loved ones and work
Unschoolers and Online-Schooled Interview Read More »
That’s what she told me; my therapist told me this today. She then asked me, “What are your expectations for yourself?” I felt dumb. I sat there not knowing the answer. I flashed back to childhood– I’m sitting on the carpet; my mother is sitting in a Lazy Boy, rocking a fat baby boy with
“Clearly, You’re trying too hard to be perfect…” Read More »
