Journal Entry: Deprogramming from Christianity
What if earth’s beginning was the end of something else?
Merciless
She didn’t know what her mother was talking about. Why was she saying these things? She hurt even more.
I’m Finished!
Whoooo!!! Feeling safe, not being beneath layers of trauma –not living underneath a controlling force, and doing work because I desire to learn has been the ultimate gift to myself!! I just ended my final week of college for Spring semester. If only I had a safe environment while growing up… I am finding that …
Vagal, Not Crazy
“There’s no jumping from Shutdown (dorsal) to Safe and Social (ventral). A human must move either up through Fight/Flight, or down on the Vagas ladder. All of humanity is under the same rules.”
Fears won’t drag me down
I do not like conflict. I once told my stepfather to stop tickling me; my tickle center had switched off; he tickled too hard. This was an attempt to set a boundary. His response is the one I fear receiving to this very day; it is a trigger. Fearing the outcome of setting a boundary, …
Unschoolers and Online-Schooled Interview
In the year 2020 a pandemic reached global proportions; a novel virus sped throughout the globe and governments in most countries shut down parks, schools, playgrounds, bars, libraries, and malls. In March of 2021 the earth’s heartbeat continues to say, “stay home; it’s a pandemic.” We must draw closer to our loved ones and work …
“Clearly, You’re trying too hard to be perfect…”
That’s what she told me; my therapist told me this today. She then asked me, “What are your expectations for yourself?” I felt dumb. I sat there not knowing the answer. I flashed back to childhood– I’m sitting on the carpet; my mother is sitting in a Lazy Boy, rocking a fat baby boy with …
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Parking Lot Convert
By Alexis Scarbro We met on the church grounds; she was mousey, her body looked stringy enveloped in baggy, vintage, polyester clothes of rusty orange, beige, and yellow. Her brown hair was dull, her skin had the pallor of a potato, and her hard, dark eyes peeked out of tiny slits; I did not trust …
White Cat
A story of childhood trauma by Alexis Scarbro We moved to the middle of nowhere in Powassin, Ontario, Canada when I was six years old. Dad said we’d like it, we could drive to the dump nearby on Fridays, and watch the bears eat the garbage. We had land to explore all around us, and …
What They Didn’t Tell Me About, While Growing Up
When I was a child, they didn’t tell me that my body is part of the earth; that it is a machine, literally. It creates a lubrication to keep its parts from burning up, uses data for processing and stores it like a computer, and runs on broken and functioning loops. Cartoons surely never …
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