C-PTSD and Parenting Part 1: Dysregulation
Soon, our children will reflect our healthy role modelling; then we can all begin living in safety and security in our homes, and finally taste a healthy life.
Hurt People Hurt People
Morals
Are people who read the bible the only people with morals on the planet? Does Christianity really install a moral compass?No and No. In fact, the most ignorant of morals have been Christians in my experience. They have the ticket into heaven; they asked Jesus to save them from themselves (cuz who else is sending …
What will 2022 Bring?
I didn’t meet the first 4 layers of Maslow’s Pyramid in childhood, nor in adulthood; not until I realized I am enough. How about you? Lately life has been more than rough. Maybe like you, I’m facing an uncertain future; I’m in danger of financial ruin because I’ve chosen to stay home and keep my …
Merciless
She didn’t know what her mother was talking about. Why was she saying these things? She hurt even more.
Vagal, Not Crazy
“There’s no jumping from Shutdown (dorsal) to Safe and Social (ventral). A human must move either up through Fight/Flight, or down on the Vagas ladder. All of humanity is under the same rules.”
Fears won’t drag me down
I do not like conflict. I once told my stepfather to stop tickling me; my tickle center had switched off; he tickled too hard. This was an attempt to set a boundary. His response is the one I fear receiving to this very day; it is a trigger. Fearing the outcome of setting a boundary, …
“Clearly, You’re trying too hard to be perfect…”
That’s what she told me; my therapist told me this today. She then asked me, “What are your expectations for yourself?” I felt dumb. I sat there not knowing the answer. I flashed back to childhood– I’m sitting on the carpet; my mother is sitting in a Lazy Boy, rocking a fat baby boy with …
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What They Didn’t Tell Me About, While Growing Up
When I was a child, they didn’t tell me that my body is part of the earth; that it is a machine, literally. It creates a lubrication to keep its parts from burning up, uses data for processing and stores it like a computer, and runs on broken and functioning loops. Cartoons surely never …
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My Generational Thoughts
I rested as an ova within an outer egg-cell package, unformed and whole at the same time, resting deep within; my grandmother was a teenager. She was shy. Her father was rough, stern; he made her read and memorize bible verses with her siblings, if they didn’t do it good enough they were whipped on …
A Nervous Breakdown Diversion
December 14, 2020 I’ve reached the downs. I’m rather low these days. It’s a New Moon, like my long ago, dog’s name. I’m feeling really awful this morning. Tightness in my chest. Tightness all over.. like I’m waiting for bad news. Like I know bad news is on the way, or I’m bringing bad news …